i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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