Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
