Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
