Umm I'm too high to move.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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