Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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