one two three fourrrrnication!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize