I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
