that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
