He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
