white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
