she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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