I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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