quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
