wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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