until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
