i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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