She's like a pop up book from hell.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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