Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
