Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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