so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
