wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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