They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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