Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize