Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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