If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
