I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
