How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
