school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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