Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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