sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
