Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
