He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
well you can't waste a boner
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
