how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
