Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
