we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
