My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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