my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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