i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize