He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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