my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
