she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
