I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
