Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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