but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
