New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
