can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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