Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize