? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
