I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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