Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize