Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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