i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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