i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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