just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
