I CAN MOONWALK!
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
