these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
